FREE SHIPPING: Limited time, enjoy a free launch (shipping) to your address with RedPlanet Membership! Don't let this interplanetary opportunity pass you by! 🚚💨
Quality: 100% Mars-Grade Quality 💪
Freebie: Each order is upgraded with a free dose of Martian humor! 😂
Guarantee: If our product isn't up to standards, we will replace or refund the order. 💥
Space-Time Continuum...err...Shipping Time: Our rocket boosters work hard to deliver your order. For US shipping, allow 2-5 space days (earthly equivalent of standard days) from shipment. For intergalactic shipping (international shipping), time frames vary, so thank you for your patience. And remember, even light years can't rush perfection, so please allow 24-72 Martian business hours for order processing.
In-Transit Time Warp: Once we've launched your order into the great cosmic postal system, in-transit time starts. Remember, this does not include the standard processing time required by your chosen shipping method. Business days on Mars, unfortunately, do not include Saturdays, Sundays, or US Holidays. Who knew?
Changing Coordinates Mid-flight: We know you're eager for your order to land, but unfortunately, once it has launched, it's hard to redirect its trajectory or abort the mission. If you contact our customer service team, with your order number and correct address, we can see where your order is, but we can't guarantee it can be rerouted.
Locating Your Space Parcel: As soon as we've prepared your order for launch, we'll ping you with a shipping confirmation email or text with your tracking data. So you can monitor the voyage of your package across the space-time continuum!
Lost in Space?: If your tracking info says "landed", but no package at your airlock, do a quick check with your local aliens and droids. If the package is still MIA, wait three Martian days, then contact the interstellar courier service. Sometimes, packages can be marked as "delivered" while still in transit, so no need to go interstellar!
Houston, We Have a Problem?: Did a black hole mess with your order? We're sorry if you've received a faulty or incorrect item. To help us fix the issue ASAP, please send a transmission to firstname.lastname@example.org with the following info: Your Earth name, Order number, Product name and/or code (this can be found on your order confirmation email) along with a Snapshot of the fault / incorrect item.